Gus, "I don't care how many seconds will do for you, hoomin - how many cookies you got?!" |
Good Evening, Everybun!
Tonight we turn to Gus for help with this edition of the "Evening Thumps." The hoomin snuck out for a secret rendezvous with Mr. Spressos, in what we can only imagine as an attempt to seek comfort and solace. I call it "looking for dandelions in a hardware store." You can imagine how well it turned out. The hoomin's brain, already mangled, came back minced, just a crust short of a pie.
It's the resoluteness of Gus that is our saving grace in times like these. If you ask him for three seconds, he's liable to give you five because he understands the power of compassion and generosity. Now, if you dare to make any kind of keep eye contact with Gussy - the truth, his gaze will pierce you. Your DNA will be permanently altered, and you will be a different person, so "empaths, beware!"
And thanks to Gus, when the willow and kudzu leaves are down, we realize that the answer to everything in life is not 42, not some guiding star in the firmament, but the sparkle in your bunneh's eye.
Good Night, and Good Luck!
- Espresso
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