The Bunday Evening Thumps

Espresso, "What did you call me?"

Charlie, "Are you skimping on the raspberries?"

Gus, "A mid-day snack; what's he on about?"

Wheatgrass and dandelion with pineapple chunks and half a raspberry.

Good Evening, Everybun!

"Hey, King Spresso! How you like a raspberry facial, you vegan dog, you?" said my hoomin. 

"What you on about?" I said. 

"Well, here's this article in The Guardian about how pets get pampered these days." said the hoomin.

"Did you call me a pet, you dolt?" I barked and raised my eyebrow.

"No, of course not, I'd never call you a pet. I'm your pet; you know that, right? I swear!" groveled the hoomin. I stared at him with narrow eyes and hissed, "Don't let yourself slip like this again." 

"Are you going to write to them about how woefully inadequate their treatment of lagomorphs was in that article?" 

"I thought about it," said the hoomin.

"Good, make me a treat then and send them a pic. You know, maybe some wheatgrass and pineapple, with a touch of raspberry sauce, eh?"

"Yes sir, that's a very good idea, sir! Would you like to proof the letter, sir?" quivered the hoomin.

"Nope, just report back when you're done. And make it snappeh," I said.

We'll keep you posted,

- Espresso

PS: The article, titled "'I gave a blueberry facial to a vegan dog': inside the pet pampering boom," can be found here. Comment can be filed at weekend@theguardian.com